i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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