drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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