Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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