My nipple is on Facebook.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize