I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
