I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
