i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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