As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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