soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize