My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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