I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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