so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
