Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
