Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
