Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My ass is underappreciated
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
