the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
