I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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