Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.

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(905): View more from Ontario

something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance

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(+61): View more from Australia

Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.

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(541): View more from Oregon

he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

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(903): View more from Texas

I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not

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(316): View more from Kansas

I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?

(1-316): View more from Kansas

Depends on how cute he is

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