Tell her she can't have a vagina
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
