Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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