hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
