If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Houston, we have a squirter
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
