i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
