remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
