I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
