went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
