My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
