Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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