He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
