I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
