I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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