Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I smell like Dick and happiness
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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