Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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