And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
