That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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