is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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