Whod you bang
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
