I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
