We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
