Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
