I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
honey bunches of taint.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize
