so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
