I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
