You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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