Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
