i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
