she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
