maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just threw up on my dentist
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
