Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
