I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
