butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
