Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
