its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
