Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
