Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
