Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize