I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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