Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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