Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
