I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
