your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
