Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
