Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
