Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm going to jail i love you
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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