Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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