I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize