Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
