what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize