Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
