PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
